I don't usually make long posts but this morning I need to tell you the story of my journey.
When I was diagnosed with rectal cancer in November 2022 I was definitely surprised and in shock. No family history of cancer, no personal "high risk factors", and no previous symptoms.
After breaking the news to Kat and Seth I immediately began aggressive treatment. Fortunately, over the years in clinical practice I have had the privilege of working with some of the best Oncology Specialists in the Memphis area. Kat and I chose my care team and the journey began. After my initial treatment of 12 cycles of bi-weekly chemo and 30 cycles of radiation that ended at the end of March 2023 the tumor was destroyed and all that was left was scar tissue.
Since that time, I have had monitoring, scoping, imaging, and close follow up with oncology, GI, and oncology surgery. In January of this year, a second tumor was found. The treatment for this tumor involved surgically removing the tumor and a section of my rectum which created the need for an ileostomy.
I am a firm believer that "everything" happens for a reason. While we may discover the reason, many times we never figure out the reason(s).
For me, this journey has been a multitude of emotions:
Humbled that I had a disease the may end my life.
Wondering "why me".
Experiencing the side effects of chemo personally that I had explained to patients over the years personally.
Realizing that the cancer was not just a "physical" problem, but had created mental, emotional, psychological, family, and life issues as well.
I am blessed with an awesome support system. Family, friends, students (former and current), colleagues, patients (former and current), many others and even strangers.
those of you that know me, know that I have named that "voice inside my head" Ralph. Ralph and I have very intense "discussions" about many things. After diagnosis, we realized that I had to treat not only the cancer, but my psychological well being as well.
I have been involved in public safety with fire and EMS since I became a volunteer firefighter and first responder in 1978 and remain involved today. During that time I have been assaulted by patients and family members, shot at, stabbed, and verbally abused. Ralph and I decided that if we were going to let cancer win this battle it was going to need to "up it's game". Developing this mental attitude led me to adapt a slogan: #nottodayreaper. I initially had a few t-shirts made with the slogan on them for Seth, Kat and myself. Once the word got out about the shirts, I started getting requests from folks for one of the t-shirts. As of today there are 120 of these shirts throughout the United States including Alaska and Hawaii. It was not a money making project, it was a mental health project.
So, what has this journey taught Ralph and I?
I have had the opportunity to speak to several cancer support groups, individual cancer patient's and their family members, and the general public about cancer from both a provider standpoint as well as a patient standpoint.
I have been contacted by friends and acquaintances asking if I could speak with their "friend" who has cancer. (I am always willing to speak to them)
I have realized that I truly am "one of the lucky ones with cancer" with minimal symptoms.
And so many other things.
I get asked frequently about what I tell people with cancer when I talk to them.
I will share a letter that I wrote to one of my "cancer friends" that I have been speaking with since shortly after my diagnosis. Please keep in your mind, that this lady had stage 4 lung cancer and continued to text and call me throughout my treatment program.
February 14, 2025
Dear (I am not sharing her name),
I hope this letter finds you well. I’ve been reflecting on the impact you’ve had on my life, and I wanted to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude.
I want to sincerely thank you for sharing your hopes and fears with me. I hope that our talks have helped you understand your disease process. Your kindness, support, and presence in my life have meant more than I can express. I remember when I was diagnosed and the phone call you made to me. That moment showed me that no matter what is cast upon us there is a reason. Although we may never truly know all of the reasons, one of the reasons was that you and I could connect and support each other.
You’re questioning and openly sharing your fears and hopes encouraged me to share my medical knowledge as well as my personal experience with cancer truly inspired me. Because of you, I have had the honor and privilege to meet and talk with literally hundreds of cancer patients and hopefully in some way made their journey a little easier.
I just want you to know that your actions and presence are deeply appreciated, and I am truly grateful to have you in my life. Thank you for being an amazing friend.
With gratitude and appreciation,
Thomas “Tommy" Cooper
Now to close the circle of our relationship, the day I rang the bell at the Radiation Center she called me on the phone to make sure I "rang the bell loud and long". We talked for about 10 minutes and yes many tears were shed.
4 days after this call, I received a letter, which I thought was from my friend by the return address. However, when i opened it it was from her husband. Unknown to me, she had called me from her Hospice bed and left this earthly world shortly after she hung up with me. Her husband told me she had made her peace with her death and had told him when she hung up the phone from our call that "everything was good now, Tommy has completed radiation".
Now many of you are asking "why" I have chosen to share the story of my journey. I share this to let you know that you are NEVER alone in your battles. I am always available by text, email, or phone if you need to ask questions, scream, cry, holler at someone, need someone to listen, or need a hug.
Respectfully Tommy and Ralph
#nottodayreaper
